


Haikyuu except the dumbasses are the smart ones and the smart ones are the dumbasses

by dreamydelite



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, dumbass au, personality swap?, seriously can you imagine hinata and kageyama being smart?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 05:46:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19042336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamydelite/pseuds/dreamydelite
Summary: aka a Dumbass AUThis is based off a post where everything's the same except Yam Yams and Tsookie tsookie are the doofuses and that didn't leave my mind since





	Haikyuu except the dumbasses are the smart ones and the smart ones are the dumbasses

The sun rose gently above the city of Sendai. It was a soft beginning for another hectic day. The boys of the Karasuno volleyball team prepared themselves for early practice. Some were more prepared than others, but that’s to be expected of this colorful group of athletes. They rounded up inside the gymnasium and set up the equipment. The third years conversed over the routines and how the practice would generally go. Once Daichi established the plan, he clapped and let everyone on to their merry way. The early sun rays beamed through the large gym windows and brightened the tired atmosphere. It was another glorious day in Karasuno.

 

Except it wasn’t.

 

“They’re at it again.”

“Just ignore them, let ‘em run off some steam.”

“Are our troublesome duo at it again?” Tanaka asked as he sauntered to the third years.

“Seems so” Noya nodded fondly at his kouhais.

 

And who could resist their charm? Their passion for the sport of volleyball? Not to mention that they make such an unstoppable team once they get their heads in the game. No matter what anyone says, these two are something special that Karasuno haven’t had in a long time. Granted there are plenty of admirable stars in the team, like Nishinoya, the crafty libero, and Asahi, the intimidating ace who can break down any wall. However, there is no doubt that Karasuno’s infamous first year duo have captured the attention of many, from young to old. And they are...

 

“Tsukishima! Yamaguchi! Please calm down!”

 

... causing trouble yet again. But what else is new?

 

“Listen!” Tsukishima pushed his broken glasses up to his nose. “It’s extremely important I get this block right and Yamaguchi” he turned to glare at his teammate, “isn’t helping with his serves.”

 

“Oh come on Tsukki!” Yamaguchi went over and picked a ball off the ground. “It’s not _my_ fault the ball landed on your glasses” he placed the ball on his tilted hip “besides, _you_ should have had your arms raised.”

 

“Hey!” Tsukishima turned and pointed a finger accusingly at Yamaguchi’s face. At least, he thinks it’s his face. His glasses are broken. “You know I could have gotten that ball if you didn’t make it _swerve_ right at me!”

 

“You keep getting too excited to block the ball that you forgot to use your _arms_! That’s your own fault for receiving with your _face”_

 

“That wouldn’t be the first time!”

 

“I know, you have a collection of shattered glasses to prove it!”

 

“Do I look like I care about shatterable glasses I can easily replace when there’s a volleyball game to play!?”

  
  
“No! You look like a _dumbass!"_

  
“Take that back!” Tsukishima gasped.

 

“You’re both dumbasses! Shut up!!” Kageyama shouted from the sidelines.

 

“You shut up Kageyama!” Yamaguchi retorted.

 

“Hey don’t tell him to shut up!” Hinata spoke.

 

**“** ** _ENOUGH_ ** **”**

 

The first years shut their mouths instantly and turned to their captain. He was pissed.

“Uh oh, they angered Daichi” Ennoshita muttered to his friends.

“And so early in the morning too,” Kinoshita supplied.

“We should probably get out of here,” Narita said.

“Great idea! Let’s go!” Ennoshita made a run for it, the duo following close behind.

 

“Not so fast!” Tanaka and Noya corralled their fellow second years and made them sit down on the floor in silence.

“Nobody’s going anywhere,” Tanaka said.

“That’s right” Noya added, “we still got ten minutes of practice left! Let’s make this good use of our time and do some flying falls!”

 

The Ita gang groaned in unison while Daichi told off the first years.

“You guys really need to learn how to chill,” Daichi gestured toward the rest of the team. “It’s not fair to the others that we have to put a pause on precious training time because you two can’t learn to get along”. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi lowered their heads in shame. Daichi softened his expression and continued calmly, “You guys have been working really hard, both on your exams and in games.”  
  
Yamaguchi glanced sideways toward Tsukishima, who was fighting the urge to squint menacingly at Kageyama’s direction. It was because of him (and mostly Hinata for convincing him in the first place) that Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were succeeding in their classes. The two of them get distracted too easily, whether it’s with each other or simply zoning off into space. That took a toll on their grades, which sucked because they needed to be good students in order to go to the summer training camp.

Upon hearing this piece of devastating news Tsukishima nearly passed out and Yamaguchi had to revive him. Thankfully, they weren’t the only ones suffering. Ennoshita and Kinoshita tried to sprint away as if their lives depended on it, but Tanaka caught them both in time. Nishinoya offered a study group for the poor second years. It was then that Yamaguchi came up with a plan that Tsukishima will despise for the rest of his life. He remembers it as clear as the night it happened...

 

_*~flashback~*_

 

Kageyama noticed the two idiots making those faces like they’re about to ask something from him. “Absolutely not, whatever it is.”

  
  
“You didn’t even hear what we wanted to say!” Yamaguchi protested.

 

“I don’t care,” Kageyama was about to keep walking, but he was stopped by a lone hand grabbing his arm.

 

“Wait Kageyama,” Hinata looked between his partner and the duo “let’s hear what they have to say.”

 

Kageyama and Hinata proceeded to have a telepathic conversation with each other while Tsukishima used every bit of strength he had to stay still. He _really_ did not want to do this. But he had no choice. Yamaguchi was right, if he fails then he won’t play against the major league teams. He has heard plenty of rumors about the types of players he would be up against, like Fukurodani’s Bokuto and Akaashi. Bokuto, the brilliant ace and Akaashi, the clever yet emotional setter, have been mentioned plenty of times and Tsukishima wonders what their play style is like. He was definitely curious about what it meant when Akaashi goes through his ‘emo mode’.

Nekoma was also going to be there. Tsukishima wanted to win against them at some point, especially if it meant seeing Kuroo having a legitimate reaction to losing. Kenma would probably compare it to the time he lost at Super Smash Bros for the fiftieth time.

 

Tsukishima kept all this in his mindspace when Kageyama finally gave him and Yamaguchi the chance to ask what they wanted. Yamaguchi took the lead.

 

“We want you to help us study!”

 

Hinata widened his eyes. He certainly wasn’t expecting this. He turned toward Kageyama to see what he would say, but he’s got nothing. “Sure thi-”  
  
“Wait,” Kageyama said. The three people turned to him questioningly. “I heard it from Yamaguchi,” he pointed at him, “but not from _you_ ,” he pointed at Tsukishima.

 

Tsukishima wanted to say all kinds of things to Kageyama’s face. He had plenty of ammunition, especially since he saw him fumble a set for Hinata to spike earlier. He opened his mouth to point that out, but he caught Yamaguchi’s hopeful glance and couldn’t bring himself to say anything insulting. Tsukishima took a deep breath and channeled as much willpower as he could.

 

“ʷᵉ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗᵒ ʰᵉˡᵖ ᵘˢ ˢᵗᵘᵈʸ" 

 

Hey it was a start.

 

“What?” Kageyama put a hand around his ear and leaned forward. “I couldn’t hear you,”  
  
Tsukishima smirked. This was exactly the reaction he was hoping for. He inhaled once more and repeated himself. Loudly.

 

**“** **_WE WANT YOU TO HELP US STUDY!!_ ** **”**

 

Kageyama and Hinata stepped back and covered their poor ears. Kageyama was about to say something when the door for the nearby convenience store opened.

 

“Hey!! Shut up and go home!!”

 

“Yes Ukai!”

 

_*~flashback over~*_

 

“Tsukishima!” Daichi snapped his fingers over Tsukishima’s face until he saw him blink rapidly. “Were you listening to anything I was saying?”

 

Oops. He did it again hasn’t he? Man, he really needed to work on keeping his attention in check. No more flashbacks allowed when anything volleyball related was being discussed, he thought decidedly.

 

Daichi sighed and turned to Yamaguchi “you at least heard everything, right?”

Yamaguchi nodded his head. Tsukishima can tell his partner was also lost in Zone-off Land, but he’s a better liar about that sort of thing. Luckily for them, his cover-up convinced Daichi enough to relax. “Good, now finish things off nicely. We have five minutes left.”

 

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi brightened up instantly. They turned toward each other and shared a determined gaze. They were going to make the last five minutes count. They nodded simultaneously and went to their positions.

 

“Finally,” Kageyama said. “I was wondering if we won by default again.”

 

“That was one time and it doesn’t count!” Yamaguchi said as he was going behind the back line to serve. Kageyama simply smirked back.

 

“Yes it does,” Hinata coughed into his hand. Tsukishima loomed over him from the other side of the net, making Hinata squeak and take a couple steps back.

 

“Now that we’re all _set_ ,” Tsukishima took a moment to appreciate his little pun before looking back at Yamaguchi, “let’s go.”

 

“Yeah!” Yamaguchi and Hinata replied.

 

Yamaguchi closed his eyes to focus. He felt the rubber ball in his hands and pictured himself serving. It was going to be the perfect pinch serve to throw everyone off. Kageyama will fumble with the set and the point goes to the other team. Tsukishima will go feral, just like he always does when Yamaguchi makes the perfect serve. And Yamaguchi will join along, because he made the perfect goddamn serve.

 

He opens his eyes. He sees Hinata and Kageyama on the other side of the court, concentrating just as hard as he is. Yamaguchi smiles. Then he runs. And he serves.

 

The ball flies over the net and swerves away from Hinata, aiming for the empty spot between him and Kageyama. Hinata quickly jumps aside and hits the ball with his fist before landing on the ground.

 

Kageyama tries to make up for the fumble and sets the ball quickly. Hinata gets on his feet and makes a mad dash toward the ball. Yamaguchi is still amazed by Hinata’s quick speed and Kageyama’s genius. Those two are a force to be reckoned with. He can only hope that either he or Tsukishima can receive the ball before it hits the ground.

 

Hinata leaps and spikes the ball with a powerful slap. Yamaguchi nearly flinches at the sound. However, he missed an important detail.

 

Hinata was desperate.

 

Tsukishima noticed this.

 

The ball eventually touches the ground. On Hinata’s side. He looks up to see Tsukishima, in all his tall glory, reaching toward the net with his long arms and a confident smirk on his face. He blocked the spike perfectly.

 

The ball rolls away for several aching seconds with neither side responding...

 

**“** ** _YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!_ ** **”**

 

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi went absolutely nuts. Completely unhinged. They continue screaming and jumping like maniacs until Kageyama and Hinata force them to calm down.

 

“Next time we gotta do it like- _hoh_!” Tsukishima mimicked a karate chop.

“Yeah!” Yamaguchi agreed, “or maybe a- _hah_!” he waves his hands around until they end up above his head, akin to the caramelldansen pose.

“Oh I like that!” Tsukishima copied the pose.

 

“You guys are insane,” Kageyama said. They didn’t hear him for they were still having a very intense discussion.

“Let’s leave them be, Kageyama,” Hinata, ever the impulse control, leads him away. They almost reach the door when Yamaguchi comes up with a remarkable idea.

 

“Hey Tsukki is it against the rules to set a ball using only your head?”

“Only one way to find out”

They looked at each other expectantly for three complete seconds before running off the grab another ball.

 

“NO!!” Hinata sprints immediately and jumps on Yamaguchi’s back to calm him, a technique he’s become used to everytime Yamaguchi becomes too much to handle at the sidelines.

“Aw man,” Yamaguchi frowned.

“You guys are idiots,” Kageyama sneered, “it’s amazing that you two manage to get out of bed every morning.”

“Hah, nice one,” Hinata snickered.

Before either Kageyama or Yamaguchi could respond, the sound of broken glass rescinded throughout the gym. The three first years turn toward the sound to find Tsukishima staring blankly at the ground.

“Oops.”

“You broke your glasses _again_!?” Yamaguchi said in disbelief.

 

This was going to be a long day.

**Author's Note:**

> formatting is a paaaaaaaain  
> Can you tell this is my first time using AO3 lol
> 
> Anyhoo, this is the dumbest thing i ever wrote but it was alotta fun writing it. A lot of what goes on here is based off of what was discussed in the hq discord. 
> 
> Feral Yamaguchi is my favorite character uwu


End file.
